The Importance of Being You.

Through many failed attempts of my own and by example of others, I have noticed a key factor to damaging a relationship and that is omitting various aspects of one's self to impress another. I would like to elaborate on this as I see it happen so much in recent times.

First, sometimes when people meet and are interested in one another, it starts as infatuation. Many are enamored by looks and first impressions. What then happens is the fact that one will be so ready to seal the deal they will alter themselves to make the other seem as if they are the "perfect fit."

For example, your new potential tells you he/she loves to go skating, you don't let them finish their sentence before you exclaim "I Love Skating!" The sad thing is you haven't been skating since you were five and bruised your knees and swore you would never put on a pair of roller blades again. So now that you have lied, you have to continue on this journey. You run out buy skates the next morning, maybe go to the park and practice because you know now that you opened your mouth, he or she will be asking you to go skating real soon. So what happens next? You realized you still hate skating and he/she wants to go every weekend. HMMMM

Now it doesn't have to be as complex as activities, this can be scaled down to interests (i.e Music, Foods, Movies, etc.) Don't pretend to like something because you are afraid if you don't they will lose interest in you. Remember the term opposites attract? It is still found to be true. It is fine to have a few things in common, but you don't have to mirror your potentials every trait.

I say tell the truth about yourself. Why? Because it will save you much grief in the long run when you suddenly wonder why you two aren't compatible anymore and why arguments are becoming so easy to start. The reason is because the honeymoon stage of the relationship is over and you are tired of pretending to like what they like and don't want to think of compromising anymore. This is when all the movie statements take place "What happened to the guy/girl I use to know?" and "You've Changed." They didn't change, they just weren't honest with you because they were afraid you wouldn't like or accept their real personality. SAD.

I want to end with this; the reason you should be upfront and honest with your potential guy/girl is so they get to know YOU! If they don't like You or aspects of your personality, don't feel rejected. There are plenty more attractive men and woman out there and one of them would absolutely love you for YOU!

-K. Dwayne